Golf Lingo

My favorite follower, who we will call "SO", expressed concern that the "Journey to St. Andrews" blog is not accessible to the masses because of the golf jargon. I explained that this is a blog for "real" golfers, not namby pamby golfers that look at the swans and take pictures while playing golf. As you can imagine, this did not go over very well!

Therefore, in the interest of commercialization and my goal of selling this blog to a book publisher and then to a movie production company (I am thinking of George Clooney to play me! I especially like this picture), and to maintain some minimum level of harmony in my relationship with SO, the following jargon can make you sound like a golfer even if you can't play a lick and you like to look at the swans while playing golf:

Ace - A hole in one.

Approach Shot - A short or medium shot played to the putting green or pin.

Birdie - One stroke under par on a hole.

Bogey - One stroke over par on a hole.

Bogey Golfer - A player who has a handicap is the about the same as the number holes on a course (18 to 22).

Chili Dip - To catch a shot fat by hitting the ground behind the ball before striking the ball itself; also known as fat, heavy, chunk.

Dance Floor - The putting green.

Dogleg - A hole where the fairway curves noticeably to the left or right.

Double Bogey - Two shots over the hole par.

Foot Wedge - When a golfer kicks his ball or nudges the ball into a better position for the next stroke.

Fried Egg - When a ball remains in its own pitch mark when landing in a bunker, looking like a fried egg with the ball as the yolk.

Match Play - Form of competition where each hole is won, lost or halved. The winner is whomever won the most holes. A winning score of 3 and 2 means that the winner won by 3 holes with 2 left to play. The highest score possible is 10 and 8.

Nassau - Three bets in one: the front nine, back nine and 18-hole scores all count as separate bets.

Nineteenth Hole - The clubhouse bar after playing 18 holes.

On the Dance Floor - When the ball has stayed on the green.

Ready Golf - A very effective informal method of play in which the right to play based on "honor" or "away" is forsaken and whoever is "ready to play" plays next, in the interest of speeding up play.

Rough - The high grass area adjacent to the fairway and green.

Royal and Ancient or R&A - Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews - golf's primary governing body.

Sandbagger - A golfer who lies about his ability in order to gain an advantage in a match or wager, or submits artificially high scores in order to inflate his handicap (euphemism for "liar, cheater").

Short Game - Chipping, Pitching and Putting.

Shotgun Start - A way to start a tournament in which all groups of players tee off simultaneously from different holes. If there are 18 groups of foursomes in a tournament, then each hole on the course will serve as the starting hole for a different group.

Texas wedge - Name given to putter when used anywhere other than the green.

Wedge - A short iron with significant loft mainly for playing shorter, more lofted shots (the amount of loft can vary widely, from a pitching wedge that ranges somewhere between 47° and 52° to a lob wedge that can range from 58° up to 65°).

This jargon is courtesy of golfeurope.com, energeticgolfer.com, golf.about.com, greatgamesforgolf.com and pgaprofessional.com. For some politically incorrect golf jargon see greatgolfjokes.com.

This leads to the old wive's tale that my female followers can debunk when confronted by a male chauvinist pig golfer that proclaims "golf" is an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden." A more accurate and interesting description of the derivation of the word "golf" is in the on-line article "Golf Carte". I especially like the author's alternative name for golf, "flog".

I hope you novices enjoyed this post and are now ready to "talk the talk".