The Jewish Mafia

A few months' ago, my cousin invited me to participate in his Boys' Golf Weekend at Hilton Head Island, South Carolina in late April. For purposes of my blog, my cousin's pseudonym will be "Mensch", which roughly means in yiddish "a good person," but really means a person with the qualities one would hope for in a dear friend or trusted colleague. Mensch's baby brother's pseudonym could be "Baby Mensch", but instead will be "Jerusalem", which is kind of a play on words of his real first name with a Southern drawl. Mensch took care of all of the logistics for the golf trip. He booked a great house and all of the golf and, most importantly, was in charge of all social gambling, golf and cards. He was open to advice from all comers (and I am sure he received a lot of suggestions) and herded all of the cats from the house to the courses and back again. And he did it all with great humor and a smile on his face.

Mensch and Jerusalem's grandfather and my grandfather came over from Russia in the early 1900s and started a clothing (Schmatta in yiddish) business in New York City. The business was then passed down to our respective fathers. At some point, our fathers decided that someone needed to move down to Mississippi to be in charge of the garment factories and Mensch and Jerusalem's dad drew the short straw. Our families stayed in touch and we always knew what was going on with the other family, but we rarely saw each other while we were growing up. Maybe we would see each other at a wedding or bar mitzvah. Mensch and I went to summer school/camp together one year. But to us sophisticated New Yorkers, Mensch and Jerusalem and their two sisters were always those odd cousins from Mississippi that you could barely understand.

I took the red-eye on Thursday night and met the "Jewish Mafia" at the turn during the Friday morning golf round. There were eight of us, including me (how strange, the correct number for a boys' golf weekend). The group included Mensch's relatives (Jerusalem and me), fraternity brothers and other assorted close friends. The one common denominator was that everyone was Jewish. It was funny listening to good ole boys from Mississippi and Louisiana using yiddish words with a Southern accent (most of which I did not know).

Mensch is the best golfer in the group. He has a handicap index of 8 (although the way he played early in the trip he is closer to a 5!). The rest of the group ranged from a handicap of 12+/- to infinity (a sideways 8). We played 36 holes on Friday (I played 27), 36 holes on Saturday, 36 holes on Sunday and 18 holes on Monday. In the morning rounds we typically played our own ball and in the afternoon rounds we played some type of scramble format. I have no idea what I shot, but I did not play to my handicap. In Arizona, I am used to wide fairways with desert. If you hit into the desert you still may be able to advance the ball toward the green and save your par. These courses are all tree-lined and if you hit into the trees you are typically in "jail" and all you can do is punch the ball out into the fairway. I got pretty good at hitting the punch shot during this trip.

On Friday, we played two rounds at Hilton Head National, right outside of Hilton Head Island. National is a Gary Player-designed course that is very nicely manicured with generally wide open fairways and very playable. We played from the blue tees, which are only 6,160 yards with a course rating of 69.7 and a slope rating of 126. I drove the ball really well and was able to hit a lot of short irons into the greens because of the length of the course. The morning half-round was a warm-up and in the afternoon we played a two-man scramble and my partner and I ended up two-over par and won some of the betting games.

In the evenings we got home around 7:30, cooked dinner on the grill, played cards and watched playoff hockey. I tried to "fit in" and play cards on the first night and I bought my $20 of chips. The other guys knew they had a patsy and their eyes lit up when I asked them to explain the rules of each game we played. On the first hand, which was poker like you see on ESPN when nothing else is on television, I actually had some idea of the general rules. I lost $16! The next hand was complicated but half of the pot went to the person with the highest spade. I so happened to get the ace of spades and won back some of my money. The next game was something like 3/33 and I never did quite get all of the rules. Within another 30 minutes or so I lost all my money and went to watch the hockey game.

On Saturday, we played the Robert Cupp course at Palmetto Hall Plantation (as you can see the course goes all out on its website). The Cupp course is a great layout meandering through the wetlands with fairly generous fairways. If you hit a ball into the wetlands you risk your life trying to retrieve the ball because the alligators are lurking in the weeds (or come right up on the bank). We played from the blue tees in the morning, which are only 6,500 yards, but the course rating is 72.2 and the slope rating is 136 (it is 7.056 yards with a course rating/slope of 75.2/147 from the gold tees)! I shot a 90 in the morning with a couple of triple-bogey maximum holes and two birdies. I was very pleased with my score even though I played like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde; half the time I hit the ball in the fairway and was dreaming of birdies and pars and half the time I drove the ball into the trees and was fighting to make bogeys and double-bogeys. In the afternoon, we played a 4-man scramble and I talked my team into playing from the gold tees. That was a big mistake! On the first tee we smelled something burning and it turned out to be one of our golfers burning the morning scorecard. The other foursome played from the blue tees and there were times that we were hitting from 100 yards behind the blue tees. It was a very long afternoon and we staggered home losing all bets.

On Sunday, we played the Arthur Hills course at Palmetto Hall Plantation (ditto for this course website). This course was also a very nice layout playing about 6,600 yards from the blue tees with a course rating of 72.7 and a slope rating of 139 (from the gold tees it is 6,900 yards with a course/slope rating of 74.2/145). The course was not in great condition supposedly due to some infestation, although someone said that the infestation may have been a lack of funds. I continued to falter with my balky driver and was feeling the effects of not enough sleep and not enough game. I went through at least 12 golf balls over the 36 holes. I was hitting everything off of the toe of the club. I lost track of my score in the morning and the afternoon was a disaster for our entire foursome in the best ball scramble. I hate to admit it, but it is the first time I have ever been over par in a 4-man scramble. Among the four of us we did not hit one par-3 green. By the 18th hole we were dragging so badly that we simply dropped a ball in the fairway and tried to played in and still may have bogeyed the hole if we did not take a 12-foot gimme. We lost the 2 nine hole nassaus, the 18 hole nassau and all four of the par-3 closest-to-the pin contests. I tried to shame the other team members into paying for dinner with their winnings without success.

On Monday, I felt refreshed and ready to go. We played Oyster Reef Golf Club. This course was substantially easier than the two Palmetto Hall Plantation courses. We played from the blue tees, which measure 6,440 yards with a course rating of 72.6 and a slope rating of 124. From the gold tees, the course measures 7,018 yards with a course rating of 74.7 and a slope rating of 137. I decided that simple physics dictated that if I move a tiny bit closer to the ball at address, I am more likely to hit the ball in the middle of the clubhead, rather than on the toe. This approach actually worked wonders, although there are always problems when you try to make a swing change on the fly. I hit a lot of really great shots and a few really poor shots. Many of the poor shots were with my sand wedge from tight lies in the fairway and the club bounced into the ball and I hit it thin over the green. I hit a lot of long, straight drives and hit some great approach shots. On the par-3, 168-yard signature hole, there was a 2 club wind and I hit a beautiful 3-hybrid that landed on the green and rolled into the fringe. I made a nice up-and-down for a par. On the 400-yard par-4 8th hole I hit a short drive that stayed in the fairway but the green was blocked by tree limbs. I decided to lay up with a 4-hybrid while our other group was on the green and I hit the hybrid on the screws with a nice draw about 210 yards landing on the green as our fellow Jewish Mafia group was putting. I felt terrible hitting into our other group, but I was psyched about the shot I hit! On the par-3, 165-yard 16th hole, I hit my 6-iron to about 12 feet and sunk the birdie putt. On 18, I hit a great 1-hybrid onto the green from about 210 yards out and made a ho-hum par. My scorecard was schizophrenic. I had two birdies and three exes that were generously scored as double-bogeys. I never did get my final score for the round. I was itching to play more golf, but we had planes to catch.

The trip home was long and tiring (I flew through Detroit!), but I had a great time and hope that Mensch, Jerusalem and the rest of the Jewish Mafia invite me back for next year's Boys' Golf Weekend.

Martin Hall Acolyte

After shooting a 79 last week, I decided it was time to retool my swing (good thinking!). My new golf guru is Martin Hall, the host of School of Golf Extra Credit on the Golf Channel. Hall was talking about making a better turn to increase your power and distance. He said that moving your back foot a little further away from the golf ball (a closed stance) would permit you to better turn your hips and increase your power and distance. I tried this and it worked on the practice range, but it caused me to pull the ball a little bit. But I decided to take this tip out to course with me.

Chad Feldheimer and I played Legend Trail Golf Club in Scottsdale. I had never played the course previously, although I had heard good things about it for a long time. It is about 40 minutes from central Phoenix near Cave Creek/Carefree up in the foothills. At this time of year, it is a very pretty drive through the desert. The course is 6,845 yards from the black tees with a course rating of 71.8 and a slope rating of 138, which is one of the higher slope ratings that I have played. The course is pretty and very playable with wide fairways and a lot of room if you miss the elevated greens.

Using my new swing, I did drive the ball a little longer and kept it in the fairway or at least on the grass all day. However, by closing my stance with my hybrids and irons, I seemed to hit a lot of shots on the toe of the club, leaving the ball generally right of the green. Maybe I was overcompensating for the perceived pull I had on the driving range. I shot an 89 with only two double-bogeys and I thought I should have scored much better given the way I played. I had two sand shots. On the first one, I was in the back of the bunker with a downhill lie. My confidence level for this shot was below zero, but I got the ball out of the bunker and onto the green so I was really pleased. My second bunker shot was a long bunker shot that had to go over another bunker. I purposely aimed a little away from the hole and hit a nice soft bunker shot onto the green with a chance for a sandy. I hit a number of good pitch shots and I rolled my putts pretty well and scared the hole on a number of putts but none dropped.

The only bad shot I hit all day was a sand wedge on my third shot on the par-5 4th hole. The hole is 540 yards and I hit a good drive and a good 1-hybrid and I was about 60 yards from the hole. I had a downhill lie and I decided to try to pitch the ball up to the elevated green rather than hitting a low chip and running the ball up to the hole. I was having second thoughts as I stood over the shot (my guru Martin Hall says back away if you are unsure about your club or shot selection) and skulled the ball over the green and made a double-bogey 7. Before, I would have been happy with an 89, especially on a course rated as difficult as Legend Trail, but now I am trying to shoot in the low to mid-80s so I was a little disappointed. I still thought that my handicap index for the round would be pretty good because of the high slope rating, but I was surprised that my handicap index for the round was 14.1. I still do not understand how the handicap index is calculated!

This weekend I am going to Hilton Head Island to play golf with my cousins and some of their friends. I am leaving Thursday night on the red-eye and arriving at the golf course at about 10:30 Friday morning and hopefully joining my group at the turn or earlier. We are playing 36 holes on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and 18 or 27 holes on Monday and then I am catching a plane back to Phoenix Monday night. I am looking forward to the trip and it should be a lot of fun. I will report back next week as soon as the blisters on my hands and feet heal and I am able to stand up straight.

Rule 13.4 - Ball in Hazard - A Reed or Twig?

The Curmudgeon, Chad Feldheimer and I had a spirited discussion today about the penalty that Brian Davis called on himself on the first playoff hole of the Verizon Heritage at Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, this weekend. Davis, who has never won on the PGA Tour dramatically sinks a birdie putt on the 18th hole to tie Jim Furyk and force a playoff. Furyk and Davis then start the playoff at the same hole and Davis hits his second shot onto the edge of the green and the golf ball rolls off into the hazard next to the green. The hazard has a sandy base next to a pile of grass, twigs and reeds. From there you can see the video. Davis did not ground his club in the hazard, but on his backswing he barely clips a reed or twig that is lying on the ground. Davis calls Slugger White, the Rules official, over to discuss the potential infraction and after due consideration and a review of the videotape, Slugger (nice name) agrees with Davis and Davis is penalized two strokes for moving a loose impediment in the hazard in violation of Rule 13.4 of the Rules of Golf.

Rule 13.4 of the Rules of Golf in plain English provides that when you are in a hazard before making a stroke at the golf ball you must not touch a loose impediment in the hazard. One of the exceptions to this Rule is that you can touch any grass, bush, tree or other growing thing at any time, including at address or in the backswing. A loose impediment is defined to include stones, leaves, twigs and branches (as well as dung and worms and insects and casts or heaps made by them for future information). Anything that is fixed, growing or solidly embedded is not a loose impediment.

If Davis touched a reed, there is probably no penalty because a reed is a type of grass in which case it falls within the exception to Rule 13.4. But if Davis touched a twig there is probably a 2-stroke penalty unless you can argue that the twig is a "growing thing". Although I am not a botanist I have seen those nature shows where you hear the branch scream as it is being cut from the tree and I would bet that a twig continues to grow for some time after it is cut (like hair or fingernails on a corpse!). Alterntively, if you want to create new law in the world of golf, you could argue that Davis touched the twig on his backswing while making a stroke at the ball, which takes this out of the Rule completely (but the definition of "stroke" is the forward movement of the club only). This argument would require overturning clear precedent by Slugger, which would probably cause him to be excommunicated from the USGA. And finally, I think that the intent of the original drafters of the Rules of Golf at the Royal & Ancient Golf Club was that the player should not be able to improve his lie, stance or swing or test the condition of the hazard by grounding his club, touching the ground with his hand or clearing away any loose impediments before intending to strike the golf ball. If you are a strict constructionist (and want to suck up to the USGA and R&A) you impose the 2-stroke penalty like Slugger, but if you have any heart and are a judicial activist you snub the USGA and R&A and give Davis a fighting chance to scramble and make par and possibly win his first PGA Tournament.

I am sure that all of my "World Of" golf buddies that religiously read my blog will chime in with their analysis of this case.

Editor's Note: Unless the hazard was a water hazard, since the twigs interfered with Davis' backswing, he could have elected to take relief under Rule 25-1b(ii) of the Rules of Golf without a penalty.