Wagering at the "World Of"

Today, I am pleased to have a guest post from Arnie, one of the stalwart members of the "World Of", on "World Of" wagering. Interestingly, this year Arnie a/k/a Metronome may have won every single bet with his stellar play.

The "World Of" has its own economic system. Everyone is a reasonably well-paid attorney, sufficiently well off to be able to afford a four-day golf trip to a nice place. That, however, doesn’t keep us from being major cheapskates. For example, each year the trip planning begins with an e-mail request to “send in your $100 deposit.” This originated as a way to get people to commit to the trip, so that the "World Of" participants that do not bail don’t get stuck with cancellation costs. This strategy failed miserably. No one was willing to be pinned down, much less risk forfeiture of “a hundo.” So, we still ask for the deposit, but nobody sends it in, and we always go to places where we can cancel. [Editor's Note: I think that I must be the only dummy that actually sends in my deposit!]

The best example of "World Of" economics is how we handle our golf bets. In the morning round, we ALWAYS play “the 2-man game.” The bet is $5 per head, better ball net, winning team takes all. The reason for winner take all is because, as Turtle is fond of saying, “second is just first among the losers.” That’s how we think at the "World Of". Anyway, $5 has been the bet since we were third year law students with no money, 27 years ago. Should we change it now? No way! One reason is that we are all so competitive that if we played for higher stakes, it might get out of hand. Another reason is that it is very hard to collect bets at the "World Of". The guys who win don’t want to be obnoxious about collecting, and the guys who lose don’t want to pay because they are cheap and because it is admitting defeat. So, the bets usually sit out there for 2 or 3 rounds until somebody like Smooth figures out a clever way to bring up the subject. That still doesn’t solve the problem of the bets made late in the trip because inevitably, several people leave without paying before we can have an accounting. So, if you’re going to lose at the "World Of", lose late and leave early!

The “net” feature of the betting is interesting, too. There are some highly suspect handicaps at the "World Of". The Mouth was a 16 for the longest time, fully capable of hitting it 270 yards and shooting in the low 80s. We finally have gotten him down to a 13. Shifty at one point got 36 strokes and made several net aces on par-3s. When he was paired with Smooth, you might as well get out your wallet. On average, I’d guess that the "World Of" handicap is 2 shots higher than the real handicap--another reason it’s good we only play for $5. There was, however, one exception to this rule. Several years ago the Natural’s brother from New Jersey came on the trip. He told us he was a 9-handicap, not bad at all. The funny thing was that the guy never broke 90, which was great as long as you weren’t his partner. The Natural’s brother quickly became known as a “New Jersey 9,” and “New Jersey” became our adjective to describe anybody who couldn’t play up to their handicap. In a way, I’m surprised we haven’t planned a trip to New Jersey. [Editor's Note: Now I understand why I was being called New Jersey!]

The most rancorous "World Of" bets involve the afternoon “scramble.” By the second round of the second day, we are all sick of playing our own ball (except for Smooth, who hits it a lot less than the rest of us). So, after 3 rounds of beating it around, we play a Captain’s choice round—for you guessed it--$5 a head. A big feature of this round is major beer drinking, led by the Big Man in terms of volume of beer and the Mouth in terms of volume of sound. Either because of the beer or because it’s a team game and nobody is individually exposed, there’s a lot of trash talk. The Mouth and Turtle, the Alabama Boys, always have to be on the same team. Turtle automatically becomes the coach of his team, even if he’s the 3rd best player. But Turtle can make a big putt, especially if he cares enough to take off his bucket hat and expose has bald pate to the elements. Every birdie in the scramble elicits a big yell from the team, so the other team(s) can hear it. Fake yells are also part of the scramble, just to keep the other team(s) guessing. And if you run across another team while you’re playing, don’t even waste your time asking them their score. They won’t tell you the truth. It may be that some teams don’t tell the truth even at the end of the round. There’s also plenty of cheating during the scramble. Ordinarily honest guys lose it. Balls get “found” and balls get advanced. It’s often getting dark at the end of the scramble, so it’s really hard to tell what’s going on. Seems like a lot of times the team that yells the loudest has the advantage. That’s the scramble.

In the end, the main point of "World Of" betting is not who wins the most money. I sure hope not because I know I’m down several “hundos” over the 27 years. No, the point is that we bet because you’re supposed to bet in golf, and you’re supposed to have fun betting. And in spite of the slow pays, the fake handicaps and all that goes on in the scramble, betting at the "World Of" is fun.